Introduction. Raising up children “in the way they should go” is challenging and requires constant vigilance. It is fulfilling and comforting to watch a child moving toward, but deeply concerning when all efforts to break a character flaw such as anger or lying are not working. The most anxious moments come when “evil companions” and “roots of bitterness” have secretly crept in and begun to influence and corrupt them. It may be a new teacher seeking to undermine their faith or a friend already steeped in evil seeking to lead them in a way they should not go. Children often don’t understand. They have not yet learned that “God is not mocked, for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” (Gal. 6:7).
There are several things parents can do to prepare for adolescence. First, every effort must be made to nip character flaws in the bud. The longer they are allowed to grow and fester, the more difficult they are to remove and the more damage they will do. An outburst of anger, even as a toddler, should be dealt with, perhaps with a strong enough tap on the leg to get their attention and show them this is not acceptable. If they refuse to give a toy back to a sibling, this selfishness must also be nipped by teaching them the beginning principles of “submit to and serve one another.” If they tell a lie, take something that doesn’t belong to them, or cheat in a game, it must not be overlooked. Everything must stop and parents must fully explain with Scripture why this behavior must stop. If they are diligent, parents can remove or greatly diminish these behaviors before the age when their memories begin to retain everything.
There are several things parents can do to prepare for adolescence. First, every effort must be made to nip character flaws in the bud. The longer they are allowed to grow and fester, the more difficult they are to remove and the more damage they will do. An outburst of anger, even as a toddler, should be dealt with, perhaps with a strong enough tap on the leg to get their attention and show them this is not acceptable. If they refuse to give a toy back to a sibling, this selfishness must also be nipped by teaching them the beginning principles of “submit to and serve one another.” If they tell a lie, take something that doesn’t belong to them, or cheat in a game, it must not be overlooked. Everything must stop and parents must fully explain with Scripture why this behavior must stop. If they are diligent, parents can remove or greatly diminish these behaviors before the age when their memories begin to retain everything.
God revealed the power and value of swift discipline to curb all weaknesses of character. Anger, jealousy, selfishness, dishonesty and cruelty are found in the hearts of many children. When they don’t get their way and respond in anger or when they find out that lying can get them out of trouble, they must be disciplined. When they learn stealing can bring things they don’t have or cheating can win the game, discipline is God’s first course of action. If we don’t stop it, it can grow into temper tantrums, yelling at or even hitting their parents. These are not things “we can wait for them to grow out of” or “give them time to make better choices.” If we trust God with all our heart and follow His wisdom, we will never have to deal with such things.
There is no question that this is an area fraught with danger. But truly serving parents will only use punishment after other forms have failed and without allowing any anger or frustration to enter. Paul gave the guidelines to fathers because they are much more prone to misuse corrective discipline. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4). When discipline makes a child angry, most of the time it was taken too far or administered unfairly. This is the perfect gauge to work from. We want to follow God’s wisdom in discipline, but not carry it so far that they become angry or even discouraged. “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Col. 3:21). When a child begins to show signs of discouragement, we are pushing too hard or trying to move too fast.
Second, parents must use the early years to bring them to God. Since “the heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork” (Ps. 19:1), we can speak of God’s “glory” and create reverence by pointing out the amazing complexities of His “handiwork.” From the sun, moon, and stars, faith and reverence can be created. In simple ways we speak to our children: “God made all the stars in one day.” “God made the blue sky, the puffy clouds and the beautiful sunsets. The more awe and reverence we can place into their minds, the easier it will be to use Scripture when difficult times arise.
Third, “His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His everlasting power and Divinity,” (Rom 1:20). Every beautiful and wondrous thing in the material creation should be laid at the feet of the One who created and sustains them. A beautiful rose, the ocean and mountain peaks, a field of almond or cherry trees with their white and pink blossoms all speak of His generosity, power and wisdom. Along with these things we can also make them aware that it was God who made the electricity and natural gas that powers our home and every appliance that eases the burdens of our life. He also made the oil that fuels our cars, trains and planes. Added to this are the metals, plastics and elements that build them and the physics and chemistry that makes it possible for them to bend them to our will. All medicine and surgeries that exist available to save lives and increase the quality of life were also made possible by God’s design. It is all because of the dominion God gave to subdue the earth (Gen. 1:26-31).
As they go through school, we can use all that they are learning to bring God into their minds. Making applications of true science to show the impossibility that biology, anatomy, physiology, chemistry and physics could have come into being by chance. It is here that we can counteract the evil companionship of teachers who seek to remove our children’s faith in God along with the commands He has given by using evolution, the big bang, sex education, and the rewriting of history to remove the influence of God from the founding of our great nation. All of these things and more must be carefully monitored by cautious, loving, and wise parents seeking to guide their minds to the truth. All of these things and more are involved in God’s command to parents to teach “them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” (Deut. 6:1-9).
Along with these things we must pass on our reverence, respect and obedience to God’s word. Like Joshua all parents must never stop speaking, thinking and keeping God’s word:
Conclusion. Paul complimented Timothy about “the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.” (2Tim. 1:5-6). It should be every parent’s goal to do the same for their own children. In so doing we are fulfilling God’s command: “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Pr. 22:6)
- He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly. (Pr. 13:24)
- Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction. (Pr. 19:18)
- Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him. (Pr. 22:15)
- Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with a rod, and deliver his soul from Sheol. (Pr. 23:13-14)
- The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother...17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul. (Pr. 29:15,17)
There is no question that this is an area fraught with danger. But truly serving parents will only use punishment after other forms have failed and without allowing any anger or frustration to enter. Paul gave the guidelines to fathers because they are much more prone to misuse corrective discipline. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4). When discipline makes a child angry, most of the time it was taken too far or administered unfairly. This is the perfect gauge to work from. We want to follow God’s wisdom in discipline, but not carry it so far that they become angry or even discouraged. “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Col. 3:21). When a child begins to show signs of discouragement, we are pushing too hard or trying to move too fast.
Second, parents must use the early years to bring them to God. Since “the heavens declare the glory of God and the firmament shows His handiwork” (Ps. 19:1), we can speak of God’s “glory” and create reverence by pointing out the amazing complexities of His “handiwork.” From the sun, moon, and stars, faith and reverence can be created. In simple ways we speak to our children: “God made all the stars in one day.” “God made the blue sky, the puffy clouds and the beautiful sunsets. The more awe and reverence we can place into their minds, the easier it will be to use Scripture when difficult times arise.
Third, “His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His everlasting power and Divinity,” (Rom 1:20). Every beautiful and wondrous thing in the material creation should be laid at the feet of the One who created and sustains them. A beautiful rose, the ocean and mountain peaks, a field of almond or cherry trees with their white and pink blossoms all speak of His generosity, power and wisdom. Along with these things we can also make them aware that it was God who made the electricity and natural gas that powers our home and every appliance that eases the burdens of our life. He also made the oil that fuels our cars, trains and planes. Added to this are the metals, plastics and elements that build them and the physics and chemistry that makes it possible for them to bend them to our will. All medicine and surgeries that exist available to save lives and increase the quality of life were also made possible by God’s design. It is all because of the dominion God gave to subdue the earth (Gen. 1:26-31).
- Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget not all His benefits: 3 Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, 4 Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with loving kindness and tender mercies, 5 Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. (Ps. 103:2-5)
As they go through school, we can use all that they are learning to bring God into their minds. Making applications of true science to show the impossibility that biology, anatomy, physiology, chemistry and physics could have come into being by chance. It is here that we can counteract the evil companionship of teachers who seek to remove our children’s faith in God along with the commands He has given by using evolution, the big bang, sex education, and the rewriting of history to remove the influence of God from the founding of our great nation. All of these things and more must be carefully monitored by cautious, loving, and wise parents seeking to guide their minds to the truth. All of these things and more are involved in God’s command to parents to teach “them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up.” (Deut. 6:1-9).
Along with these things we must pass on our reverence, respect and obedience to God’s word. Like Joshua all parents must never stop speaking, thinking and keeping God’s word:
- “This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. (Josh. 1:8).
Conclusion. Paul complimented Timothy about “the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also.” (2Tim. 1:5-6). It should be every parent’s goal to do the same for their own children. In so doing we are fulfilling God’s command: “Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Pr. 22:6)