Introduction. Drawing near to God is often more painful than reconciling with a spouse we have hurt, a friend we have betrayed, or a boss we have offended. The process of godly sorrow is no easier with God than it is with anyone else we have wounded or angered by our sinful conduct. It takes humility, love and a sense of the injustice we have inflicted to force us to reconcile with those we have harmed in this life. In spite of the embarrassment or the pain, those who show contrition and sorrow are ultimately forgiven and over time, respected and honored, while those who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions are seen as shallow, dishonest and apathetic. The less we apologize the further apart we will drift from those we harm. One thing is certain, the more powerful the offense and the longer we take to resolve it, the harder it is to draw near again.
When we sin against God it is often far worse, because we know He sees everything. Since sinful conduct begins with evil thoughts and intents, like anger or lust (Mt. 5:21-30; 15:16-20), we find a need to go through this process of godly sorrow, remorse, repentance and confession day after day after day because along with the deeds, we must also follow the same process with each evil thought and vile imagination. Yet if we seek to ever draw near to God, it is the only way. We can’t sin without repentance, or the sin remains: “your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear.” (Isa. 55:7; 59:2). If we do not draw near to Him as He has directed, the separation caused by sin will remain until we remove it. When we love God as we do our earthly loved ones, we will feel the same need to apologize to Him.
When we sin against God it is often far worse, because we know He sees everything. Since sinful conduct begins with evil thoughts and intents, like anger or lust (Mt. 5:21-30; 15:16-20), we find a need to go through this process of godly sorrow, remorse, repentance and confession day after day after day because along with the deeds, we must also follow the same process with each evil thought and vile imagination. Yet if we seek to ever draw near to God, it is the only way. We can’t sin without repentance, or the sin remains: “your iniquities have separated you from your God; And your sins have hidden His face from you, So that He will not hear.” (Isa. 55:7; 59:2). If we do not draw near to Him as He has directed, the separation caused by sin will remain until we remove it. When we love God as we do our earthly loved ones, we will feel the same need to apologize to Him.
The emotions of those who are drawing near to God in this manner are summed up by Him:
This is exactly what we would expect if someone in this life lied to, stole from or slandered us. The response of one who betrays or hurts another must be humble, contrite, and sorrowful if it is to seen as sincere and genuine. The greater our love for the one we hurt, the greater the sorrow and remorse leading up to our apology. Do we think it should be different with God? Do we think God’s grace insulates us from the need to apologize or repent with sorrow and confession? Sin is a violation of fairness (righteousness) and of love and devotion. God paid the price of His only begotten Son to redeem us from it. We ought to feel a sense of betrayal and guilt toward Him that leads us to draw near again, as He has commanded, each time we separate ourselves from Him through sin.
Many consider this too steep a price to pay for a close walk with God. Like our first parents, some seek to hide and after a few days forget it was done, hoping God has too. The day Eve listened to the serpent and Adam listened to Eve, they betrayed and hurt God with their lack of love, trust, and gratitude. What they did allowed sin to enter the world. It severely damaged their relationship with God. For Eve to believe the lies of the serpent, accepting that God would withhold something as precious as Satan claimed, revealed a complete lack of respect for her Creator. Then, to act upon it immediately, breaking the command of her Creator, without even speaking to Him about the serpent’s accusations and lies, was inexcusable. When Adam heeded his wife’s voice over God’s command, he too betrayed God’s love and trust (Gen. 3:17; 1Tim. 2:14). They both knew immediately that the serpent had lied. Instead of being like God, knowing good and evil, they felt the same loss a husband feels after committing adultery, or as one who in anger, kills or harms a loved one feels after the anger is gone. It can’t be fixed and it brings horrible pain.
Yet they took no responsibility and did not have the courage or the love to come to God and apologize. Instead of seeking counsel from Him on what was to be done about their sin, they hid themselves and made excuses. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. Neither of them admitted their guilt, apologized or showed any signs of remorse and godly sorrow. They were no longer comfortable in the presence of the Lord, feeling the fear and shame of what they had done, but at that moment, felt no need to draw near to God again. (Gen. 4). God confronted them, and after describing the consequences of their actions, the chapter ends without any more information of when or how they again drew near to God.
David did a similar thing. After coveting his neighbor’s wife and committing adultery with her, she sent news of her pregnancy. It would soon be known that her husband, one of the honored soldiers and mighty men of David’s army (1Chr. 11:10-11, 41) who was away at war at the time, could not be the father. After David sent for him, he first used deceit toward Uriah his loyal servant, pretending to be his friend. When that failed, he showed true feelings toward Uriah, asking Joab to have him killed in battle. (2Sam. 11). Thus, within a few months, David had violated three (you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, commit adultery or kill) and possibly four (you shall not bear false witness) of the Ten Commandments. God then gave David the entire time of Bathsheba’s pregnancy, to draw near to Him again, but David chose to hide and ignore the hurt he had caused God and the damage he had done to their relationship.
After the child was born, God sent Nathan to David to show him exactly what he had done. Nathan used human feelings and relationships to prick David’s heart and reveal what David had done, not just to Bathsheba and Uriah, but more importantly to God! The rich man’s killing of the poor man’s lamb moved David to great anger and a desire for his punishment. He clearly saw the unfairness of the rich man’s conduct toward the poor man.
Imagine the piercing strength of Nathan’s rebuke when he said: “you are the man!” The inspired prophet then revealed exactly how much damage these actions had done to the wonderful relationship David had built with God. David had drawn near to God and God had drawn near to him, blessing him abundantly in many different ways. Yet, because of his sinful actions David was told, “you have despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight,” and “you have despised Me.” As David compared his conduct with God to that of the man in the parable, he saw clearly the terrible things he had done to God. Finally, he gained the courage, remorse and godly sorrow to say: “I have sinned against the Lord.” (2 Sam. 12:9-13).
Later David wrote a Psalm about this experience. He revealed that he had known all along what he should have done. “When I kept silent, my bones grew old Through my groaning all the day long.” He knew he owed God an apology. He knew he should repent and confess his sins to God and ask for forgiveness. Yet day after day, he refused to do it. The pain became so unbearable, it felt like his bones were growing old as he groaned in his anguish day after day. Yet God had to take the initiative. God had to send a prophet to David to confront him and force him to make a decision. Finally, David once again “drew near to God:” “I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.’” Although David felt that drawing near to God after his sins was so painful that he initially refused to do it, in the end it became far less painful than the months of anguish and bitter pain he had received because he refused to do it. (Ps. 32:1-6; Rom. 4:6-8).
With Adam and Eve, and with David God has sought to help us see the magnitude in the difference between those who draw near to Him every time they sin, and those who hide, leave His presence, or ignore the terrible things they have done.
Conclusion. There is no doubt that sin damages every relationship it touches. At its essence, sin is stealing something precious that belongs to another. Whether it is God or those we love in this life, our response either restores the damaged relationship, or allows the chasm to grow ever wider. If we refuse to acknowledge and apologize for what we have done, there will be permanent damage to that relationship. We all know this from personal experience with others. Once sin has made a separation, whether from God or those we love, drawing near again is going to be uncomfortable at the least and often excruciatingly painful. Yet the cost of refusing to do it is infinitely higher. If we allow this separation to continue until our life comes abruptly to its end, God will ultimately make it an eternal separation, to our eternal loss. If we wait until then to draw near to God, our anguish will last for all eternity.
- The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit. Ps. 34:18
- For thus says the High and Lofty One Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy: "I dwell in the high and holy place, With him who has a contrite and humble spirit, To revive the spirit of the humble, And to revive the heart of the contrite ones. Isa. 57:15
- But on this one will I look: On him who is poor and of a contrite spirit, And who trembles at My word. Isa 66:2
This is exactly what we would expect if someone in this life lied to, stole from or slandered us. The response of one who betrays or hurts another must be humble, contrite, and sorrowful if it is to seen as sincere and genuine. The greater our love for the one we hurt, the greater the sorrow and remorse leading up to our apology. Do we think it should be different with God? Do we think God’s grace insulates us from the need to apologize or repent with sorrow and confession? Sin is a violation of fairness (righteousness) and of love and devotion. God paid the price of His only begotten Son to redeem us from it. We ought to feel a sense of betrayal and guilt toward Him that leads us to draw near again, as He has commanded, each time we separate ourselves from Him through sin.
Many consider this too steep a price to pay for a close walk with God. Like our first parents, some seek to hide and after a few days forget it was done, hoping God has too. The day Eve listened to the serpent and Adam listened to Eve, they betrayed and hurt God with their lack of love, trust, and gratitude. What they did allowed sin to enter the world. It severely damaged their relationship with God. For Eve to believe the lies of the serpent, accepting that God would withhold something as precious as Satan claimed, revealed a complete lack of respect for her Creator. Then, to act upon it immediately, breaking the command of her Creator, without even speaking to Him about the serpent’s accusations and lies, was inexcusable. When Adam heeded his wife’s voice over God’s command, he too betrayed God’s love and trust (Gen. 3:17; 1Tim. 2:14). They both knew immediately that the serpent had lied. Instead of being like God, knowing good and evil, they felt the same loss a husband feels after committing adultery, or as one who in anger, kills or harms a loved one feels after the anger is gone. It can’t be fixed and it brings horrible pain.
Yet they took no responsibility and did not have the courage or the love to come to God and apologize. Instead of seeking counsel from Him on what was to be done about their sin, they hid themselves and made excuses. Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. Neither of them admitted their guilt, apologized or showed any signs of remorse and godly sorrow. They were no longer comfortable in the presence of the Lord, feeling the fear and shame of what they had done, but at that moment, felt no need to draw near to God again. (Gen. 4). God confronted them, and after describing the consequences of their actions, the chapter ends without any more information of when or how they again drew near to God.
David did a similar thing. After coveting his neighbor’s wife and committing adultery with her, she sent news of her pregnancy. It would soon be known that her husband, one of the honored soldiers and mighty men of David’s army (1Chr. 11:10-11, 41) who was away at war at the time, could not be the father. After David sent for him, he first used deceit toward Uriah his loyal servant, pretending to be his friend. When that failed, he showed true feelings toward Uriah, asking Joab to have him killed in battle. (2Sam. 11). Thus, within a few months, David had violated three (you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, commit adultery or kill) and possibly four (you shall not bear false witness) of the Ten Commandments. God then gave David the entire time of Bathsheba’s pregnancy, to draw near to Him again, but David chose to hide and ignore the hurt he had caused God and the damage he had done to their relationship.
After the child was born, God sent Nathan to David to show him exactly what he had done. Nathan used human feelings and relationships to prick David’s heart and reveal what David had done, not just to Bathsheba and Uriah, but more importantly to God! The rich man’s killing of the poor man’s lamb moved David to great anger and a desire for his punishment. He clearly saw the unfairness of the rich man’s conduct toward the poor man.
Imagine the piercing strength of Nathan’s rebuke when he said: “you are the man!” The inspired prophet then revealed exactly how much damage these actions had done to the wonderful relationship David had built with God. David had drawn near to God and God had drawn near to him, blessing him abundantly in many different ways. Yet, because of his sinful actions David was told, “you have despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in His sight,” and “you have despised Me.” As David compared his conduct with God to that of the man in the parable, he saw clearly the terrible things he had done to God. Finally, he gained the courage, remorse and godly sorrow to say: “I have sinned against the Lord.” (2 Sam. 12:9-13).
Later David wrote a Psalm about this experience. He revealed that he had known all along what he should have done. “When I kept silent, my bones grew old Through my groaning all the day long.” He knew he owed God an apology. He knew he should repent and confess his sins to God and ask for forgiveness. Yet day after day, he refused to do it. The pain became so unbearable, it felt like his bones were growing old as he groaned in his anguish day after day. Yet God had to take the initiative. God had to send a prophet to David to confront him and force him to make a decision. Finally, David once again “drew near to God:” “I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I have not hidden. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," And You forgave the iniquity of my sin.’” Although David felt that drawing near to God after his sins was so painful that he initially refused to do it, in the end it became far less painful than the months of anguish and bitter pain he had received because he refused to do it. (Ps. 32:1-6; Rom. 4:6-8).
With Adam and Eve, and with David God has sought to help us see the magnitude in the difference between those who draw near to Him every time they sin, and those who hide, leave His presence, or ignore the terrible things they have done.
Conclusion. There is no doubt that sin damages every relationship it touches. At its essence, sin is stealing something precious that belongs to another. Whether it is God or those we love in this life, our response either restores the damaged relationship, or allows the chasm to grow ever wider. If we refuse to acknowledge and apologize for what we have done, there will be permanent damage to that relationship. We all know this from personal experience with others. Once sin has made a separation, whether from God or those we love, drawing near again is going to be uncomfortable at the least and often excruciatingly painful. Yet the cost of refusing to do it is infinitely higher. If we allow this separation to continue until our life comes abruptly to its end, God will ultimately make it an eternal separation, to our eternal loss. If we wait until then to draw near to God, our anguish will last for all eternity.