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What about virginity?


Introduction. In our modern society, the concepts of "virginity" and being a "virgin" are often the subject of jokes and negative connotations.  People often associated these concepts with being inexperienced, naive, unattractive, and/or not being desirable.  But what does the Bible have to say about this subject.

Definition. As we will see, there are at least two definitions for Biblical virginity. Physically viewed, a virgin is "one who has not experienced sexual intercourse" (Zondervan's Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible (Vol. 5, p. 885). One of the associated Hebrew terms is from "... a root meaning ‘separated,’ is a woman living apart; i.e., ‘in her father’s house’ and hence a ‘virgin’" (The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, Vol. 5, p. 3, 051).  But virginity also has a figurative or spiritual meaning we will see.

Physical virginity in the Old Testament. The Hebrew scriptures are full of teaching to the Jews regarding the importance of virginity.  For example, the priests as spiritual leaders of Israel were required to marry virgins (Lev. 21:13).  A man who enticed or seduced a virgin was required to marry her (Ex. 22:16-17).  Deut. 22:13-21 highlights the desirability of protecting a virgin’s reputation as well as requiring the death penalty for a woman who falsely claimed to be a virgin on her wedding night.  Such should not be surprising given the emphasis on a woman's physical virginity and the stigma/shame of not being a virgin.

Physical virginity in the New Testament. The emphasis on virginity continues into the New Testament.  While many today scoff at the "old fashion notion" of pre-marital sexual intercourse being a sin, the New Testament is plain regarding this matter for all people today. The sex act is only reserved for and allowed in God-ordained marriage (Heb. 13: 4). All other circumstances of sexual intercourse are sinful according to the same verse. Pre-marital sexual intercourse is included in the Biblical term "fornication". Fornication is simply illicit or forbidden sexual intercourse. As Paul says to the Corinthians:
  • 1 Cor. 7:1-2 "1: Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2: Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband"
Notwithstanding the "present distress" (verse 26) that would discourage marriage, marriage was preferable to fornication and "burning" (verse 9). Joseph of old is an excellent example of sexual purity (Gen. 39: 7-9). Joseph literally did what Paul later said do, "Flee fornication" (1 Cor. 6: 18).

Spiritual virginity endorsed. God’s people of old were called, "O virgin of Israel" (Jer. 31: 21, cp. vs. 13, 4). When we come to the New Testament, we also find a spiritual use of "virgin." Paul wrote thus to the saints at Corinth:
  • 2 Cor. 11:2 "For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ"
Spiritual virginity and purity is obviously Paul's point to the Ephesians as well:
  • Eph. 5:25-27 "25: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26: That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27: That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish".
Regarding this use of "virgin", let it be clearly understood that the scriptures do not require all to be physical virgins in order to be saved.  The doctrine of celibacy in general is not taught in the scriptures. Such, rather, is identified as the, "…doctrine of demons" (1 Tim. 4: 1-4).  While "virginity" is often associated with salvation (cp. Rev. 14: 4), these scriptures are referring to spiritual purity and separateness. And yet, this positive endorsement of spiritual virginity also speaks to the specialness of physical virginity.

Practical considerations.  The Bible's emphasis on physical purity & virginity takes into account a number of deeper emotional factors, especially to the female. The Bible Questions website receives and answers several thousand questions each year pertaining to all manner of Bible related subjects, including the subject of sexual morality. Consider the following representative question from "Alice" below:
  • "I am a very religious seventeen year old that has been brought up to believe in God and the Bible. As such, I have greatly valued sexual purity and I have considered my virginity a matter that is holy and to be greatly valued. I met a young man a couple of years ago who I thought had all the qualities of a man I would want to be my husband for life and the father of our children. He told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. Things got out of control the other night and before I knew it, I had lost my virginity. My first mistake was not going by the guidelines that I had put in place to limit heavy petting.
  • I looked to him for understanding and support. However, immediately after the sex act, I noticed a change in him. He appeared to have lost the respect and love that he had shown toward me. I felt so cheap and dirty. I could not wait to call him the next day to talk, but when we talked, he was cold and withdrawn. Now, he will not return my calls. I cannot really describe by feelings. I feel that I have lost a major portion of why I am here: To give my husband on our wedding night my all, including my virginity and continued devotion for life. I am overwhelmed with shame and I have no one to talk to….Shame and disappointment now are so present that I cannot think clearly and I am having a strong emotion that I have never felt before, I just do not want to continue on in my ruined state…! Will God forgive me?"
"Alice" was extremely depressed and had become suicidal. She was placed on a "suicide watch" list that we keep. We do not know what happened to Alice, as she dropped off from our correspondence.

After experiencing the loss of their virginity, many reach the point where they just do not care any longer about abstinence.  Hence, promiscuity becomes their lifestyle. Some even enter into prostitution. Rather than becoming "sexually liberated", many experience a loss of pride, dignity, and self-respect. They feel they do not have as much to offer physically, psychologically, and spiritually to a prospective mate. While they can certainly obtain God’s forgiveness and move on in life, it will not ever be exactly the same. Those who have a greater sense of morality often suffer the most, such as "Alice." Males who are after another trophy or want to satisfy a passing physical need should realize the price that is often being paid, especially by the one whom they entice with false promises of "love".

Conclusion.  It is regrettable that many cultures today do not value virginity. If you are a virgin, remain one and do not be "enticed" ("I love you and want to marry you" sort of persuasion). Your sexual purity is one of the greatest gifts you can offer your spouse on your wedding night. Young men especially need to realize that you cannot just casually have sexual intercourse without consequences, including committing the sin of fornication yourself and enticing another to commit the same sin. Practically speaking, just think of all the good results the teaching that we have explored would have in terms of the elimination of venereal disease, illegitimacy, and emotional disorders & scars.  Pristine Christianity requires not only separateness of the soul or spirit, but also involves the body:
  • 1 Thess. 5:23 "23: And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ".
While we have emphasized the preservation of virginity, in the real world many have already lost their sexual purity. When this is the case, God can and will forgive you as seen in Acts 2: 38; I John 1: 8-10. But you need to realize you are not the same - you will most likely be more vulnerable to sexual desires and temptations. You need to especially avoid situations where such temptations would be present.

Remember that real love does not simply seek to selfishly satisfy a momentary sexual desire at the expense of sexual purity and the well being of others, but it desires to protect the one loved and do what is best for them. Sexual passion and true love are not to be equated, notwithstanding our too often twisted and shallow American culture.
 Bible Questions is a work of the Holly Street church of Christ in Denver, CO. 
Copyright (c) 2023 Holly Street church of Christ. All material within the website may be freely distributed for non-commercial uses by including a reference to the website.