When does God approve of divorce?
Introduction. Some of the sadder kinds of questions we receive are those related to family problems, especially those involving divorce & remarriage (and we do get a lot of them). In such cases, you and I must be very careful to provide a strictly scriptural response without letting our emotions and feelings get in the way of what the scriptures teach. For starters, let’s look at what the scriptures say about having acceptable grounds for divorcing one’s spouse. Jesus’ teaching on this subject is very clear. The difficulty is often in making application.
What Jesus said. The Pharisees asked Jesus a very similar question - for what reasons could one divorce one’s spouse. Carefully study His response in Matt. 19:3-9 and 5:32. He answered that God did not permit divorce for any reason except one - fornication. It was not “falling out of love”, “not being a soul mate”, “lack of love between the couple”, “irreconcilable differences”, “financial problems”, “physical abuse”, “emotional abuse”, “mental cruelty”, “abandonment”, or a host of other reasons given today. His disciples clearly understood the highly restrictive nature of His response (Matt. 19:10). Also note He goes back beyond current social customs, past the Law of Moses, and bases His command on the original creation. This makes it timeless.
Making application. Therefore, the scriptural pattern is:
Too many adulterous marriages today. If the grounds for the divorce are wrong, neither party has the scriptural right to remarry anyone else. They may go through normal cultural processes and be married by civil law, but God still considers them “bound” to their original spouses. That is why the relationship in the subsequent marriage is described as “adulterous”. To be right with God, that adulterous relationship must stop. The previously joined person(s) must remain single or be reconciled to their true spouse.
What Jesus said. The Pharisees asked Jesus a very similar question - for what reasons could one divorce one’s spouse. Carefully study His response in Matt. 19:3-9 and 5:32. He answered that God did not permit divorce for any reason except one - fornication. It was not “falling out of love”, “not being a soul mate”, “lack of love between the couple”, “irreconcilable differences”, “financial problems”, “physical abuse”, “emotional abuse”, “mental cruelty”, “abandonment”, or a host of other reasons given today. His disciples clearly understood the highly restrictive nature of His response (Matt. 19:10). Also note He goes back beyond current social customs, past the Law of Moses, and bases His command on the original creation. This makes it timeless.
Making application. Therefore, the scriptural pattern is:
- Two people marry who have the scriptural right to get married (not previously married, previously married but with a scriptural divorce, previously married but spouse is now dead Rom. 7:1-3, previously married but divorced because their spouse did not have the scriptural right to get married).
- One party commits fornication.
- The innocent party may divorce the guilty party because of their fornication.
- The innocent party has the scriptural right to get married.
Too many adulterous marriages today. If the grounds for the divorce are wrong, neither party has the scriptural right to remarry anyone else. They may go through normal cultural processes and be married by civil law, but God still considers them “bound” to their original spouses. That is why the relationship in the subsequent marriage is described as “adulterous”. To be right with God, that adulterous relationship must stop. The previously joined person(s) must remain single or be reconciled to their true spouse.