How can I tell if I have too much pride?
Introduction. There seem to be two extremes when it comes to our self-image. At one extreme is excessive pride, an inflated ego, and over-confidence. At the other extreme is a lack of self-confidence. The scriptures advocate having an appropriate attitude toward ones' self which includes both humility and boldness.
Humility needed. Numerous scriptures condemn pride and command humility. For example, Matthew 23:12 teaches "And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased ; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted." James 4:6 says: "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." Peter in 1 Peter 5:5-6 commands "... Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time."
Confidence also needed. At the same time, Christians should have a healthy sense of confidence, especially when it comes to their relationship with God and reaching out to others with the gospel message. For example, Paul in Philippians 1:14 observed "And many of the brethren in the Lord, waxing confident by my bonds, are much more bold to speak the word without fear." We should emulate Paul's good attitude in Phil. 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Note Hebrews 3:6, 14: "But Christ as a son over his own house; whose house are we, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end. ... For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast unto the end".
Do you have an inflated sense of pride? Take the following practical quiz. If you are honest with yourself, the questions and answers may flag areas you need to work on!
Do you lack self-confidence? Here are some additional questions that focus on the other end of the spectrum. They, too, may flag areas you need to work on to be more faithful as a Christian.
Conclusion. In matters of self-examination like this, we would do well to heed the admonition of James 2:19-25:
Humility needed. Numerous scriptures condemn pride and command humility. For example, Matthew 23:12 teaches "And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased ; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted." James 4:6 says: "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." Peter in 1 Peter 5:5-6 commands "... Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time."
Confidence also needed. At the same time, Christians should have a healthy sense of confidence, especially when it comes to their relationship with God and reaching out to others with the gospel message. For example, Paul in Philippians 1:14 observed "And many of the brethren in the Lord, waxing confident by my bonds, are much more bold to speak the word without fear." We should emulate Paul's good attitude in Phil. 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Note Hebrews 3:6, 14: "But Christ as a son over his own house; whose house are we, if we hold fast the confidence and the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end. ... For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast unto the end".
Do you have an inflated sense of pride? Take the following practical quiz. If you are honest with yourself, the questions and answers may flag areas you need to work on!
- Do you look down on those who are less educated, less affluent, less refined, or less successful than yourself (Luke 18:10; James 2:1-12)?
- Do you brag about your accomplishments (Prov. 18:12; Luke 17:10; Phil. 3:2-14)?
- Do you smugly think of yourself as spiritually superior to your mate and others in your church (1 Cor. 10:12; 3 John 1:9)?
- Are you argumentative and always think your way is the right way, the only way, or the best way (1 Cor. 10:12; 3 John 1:9)?
- Do you have a sharp, critical tongue and are quick to point out fault with others (Matt. 7:1-5; Gal. 6:1; James 1:26)?
- Do you become defensive when you are criticized or corrected (Acts 7:51-60)?
- Do you resent being asked or expected to serve your family, your parents, or others (Matt. 23:11-12; John 13:5-16)?
- Do you frequently interrupt people when they are speaking (James 2:19)?
- Do you often complain about the weather, your health, your circumstances, your job, or your church (1 Cor. 10:10-12)?
- Are you more concerned about your problems, needs, and burdens than about others’ concerns (Phil. 2:1-4)?
- Do you neglect to express gratitude for “little things” to God or others (Col. 3:15)?
- Are you guilty of pretense and trying to leave a better impression of yourself than is really true (Matt. 23:27)?
- Do you react negatively to rules or have a hard time being told what to do (Jer. 17:23)?
- Is it hard for you to admit to others you need practical and/or spiritual help (James 5:16)?
- Do you have a hard time admitting you are wrong, confessing your sin to God or others, and asking for forgiveness (James 5:16; 1 John 1:9)?
Do you lack self-confidence? Here are some additional questions that focus on the other end of the spectrum. They, too, may flag areas you need to work on to be more faithful as a Christian.
- Are you excessively shy (Heb. 4:16; Heb. 13:6)?
- Do you have a hard time reaching out and being friendly to people you don’t know at services (Prov. 18:24)?
- Are you self-conscious because of your lack of education, natural beauty, or socio-economic status (Matt. 6:25-34; Phil. 4:11-13)?
- Do you avoid being around certain people or having them into your home because you feel inferior compared to them or don’t feel you measure up?
- Do you give undue time, attention, and effort to your physical appearance (1 Tim. 2:9)?
- Do you avoid participating in certain events, for fear of being embarrassed or looking foolish?
- Are you driven to receive approval, praise, or acceptance from others? Do you get hurt if your accomplishments or acts of service are not recognized or rewarded (Matt. 6:1; Matt. 23:5)?
- Do you have a touchy, sensitive spirit? Easily offended? Get your feelings hurt easily?
- Are you embarrassed to share your real spiritual needs/struggles with others (James 5:16)?
Conclusion. In matters of self-examination like this, we would do well to heed the admonition of James 2:19-25:
- "Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing." (ESV)